This Isn’t a Lesson

After two decades of practice, I have found chronic illness is not a lesson, not a hidden blessing, not a hero’s journey waiting for a montage. It’s simply not a grand movie to be played out. It’s a raw deal. Some people get strong bodies and smooth paths and you get lab results, waiting rooms, and a nervous system that acts like a smoke alarm with no fire. That isn’t fair. And here is the part nobody wants to say out loud. Fair was never part of the contract, never will be. I’ve heard fair is where you take pigs in the summer. You can spend your days arguing with reality, building a courtroom in your head where you prosecute fate, and I know I have, or you can decide that even in a rigged season of life you still get a vote. You do not control the diagnosis, but let me know if you find the magic lever, but until then we have to play the hand dealt to us. You control whether you become only the diagnosis, it is an emphasis on only, as it will always be apart of the story. You get to choose if your pain becomes your entire identity or just the backdrop to a stubborn, imperfect, meaningful existence. Living with chronic illness means accepting that the universe does not owe you balance, then building a life anyway, piece by piece, not because it is just, but because it is yours. If this is something you would be interested in exploring more, reach out to me.

Dr. Jeffrey Bone